UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF POINTLESS INTERNET AFFAIRS
★
WARNING
⚠ UNAUTHORIZED CURIOSITY DETECTED ⚠
CASE NUMBER:
WTF-404-000
THREAT LEVEL:
EMBARRASSING
ACCESS STATUS:
REGRETTABLE
CONTENT VALUE:
0.000%
USER STATUS:
QUESTIONABLE
BASEMENT STATUS:
AWAITING RETURN
OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT NOTIFICATION
Pursuant to the completely fictional
Internet Trespassing and Wasted Time Act of 1997,
your attempt to locate interesting or useful information at this
location has been thoroughly documented.
A comprehensive multi-agency investigation has determined, beyond all reasonable doubt, that there is nothing here.
A comprehensive multi-agency investigation has determined, beyond all reasonable doubt, that there is nothing here.
OFFICIAL INVESTIGATIVE FINDINGS:
- Classified documents: NONE
- Government secrets: NONE
- Useful information: NONE
- Free cryptocurrency: ABSOLUTELY NOT
- Evidence of intelligent life: INCONCLUSIVE
- Reason for you to remain here: NONE
You are hereby ordered to cease scrolling, discontinue all
investigative activity, close this browser tab, and return
immediately to your previously assigned subterranean dwelling.
Failure to comply may result in additional wasted time, disappointment, and placement on a government watchlist that does not actually exist.
Failure to comply may result in additional wasted time, disappointment, and placement on a government watchlist that does not actually exist.
NOTICE: This website is not affiliated with, endorsed by,
sponsored by, operated by, approved by, tolerated by, or even
remotely interesting to any actual government agency. Any seals,
departments, classifications, statutes, investigations, threat
levels, case numbers, bureaucrats, subterranean relocation orders,
or implications of governmental competence depicted herein are
entirely fictional and intended for satirical purposes. No taxpayer
funds were knowingly wasted in the production of this page.